Mailbag: October 4, 2003

 "Being a child of the 80's myself, I agree with you that we had the best cartoons growing up, but I think you made one glaring oversight. I guess I never really got into Ghostbusters because I was too busy watching G.I. Joe. How could you miss a staple of the 80's??? Knowing is half the battle?! And they had those cool PSA's about not touching a door handle when you're trapped in your room during a fire, and staying away from down power lines with your bike. I wouldn't be here today if they hadn't shown me how cool it was to be aware of fire safety." – John G., R.I.

 - John, first of all, thanks for taking the time to write in, I am curious as to how you heard of this fine column all the way out in RI. Second, I too am a fan of G.I. Joe. It's on my Top Ten, just didn't make the Top Four. I think it all comes down to the day I was watching it and my dad walked in the room and saw the Joes blasting the crap out of those robot COBRA soldiers (which were like the only people to ever really get shot, and that only happened in like 2 episodes, what my luck) and decided that it was far too violent for me to be watching. So I missed out. Storm Shadow is still the coolest ninja ever, I just thought I'd add that. That battle with Quick Kick? The freaking pillar fell on him and he didn't die. Storm Shadow is the man. They had such cool names back then. Destro, Major Bludd, Dr. Mindbender. Now characters have names like Carl. 

"The epitome of awesome. If you ever reach this level of awesome you will instantly die because your body cannot handle it"

"When you're at the mall and one of your buddies says something like "Have you noticed that mannequin breasts are starting to look a lot more like real breasts", what is the proper way to respond?  Is there one?  Or should you just give up on the kid?" – Handsome Pete, NJ

- Well Pete, I think you're a little too old to be cruising the mall with your friends in the first place. But come on, have you seen some of those "ladies" lately? Some of them have like lifelike nipple action. And the stores don't put bras on them, so you can see the whole outline of the puffy nipple, which is hot. It's gotta be a marketing ploy. If your buddy says this to you, he's just declaring how much he loves boobies. But if you walk into his room one night looking for a pencil sharpener and find him in bed with one of these mannequins, especially if it's missing limbs, I suggest you run far, far away. Cause odds are it's not gonna turn into a hot princess if you remove her necklace. 

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