Mailbag it for life!
"What exactly should we call you when we write in? Ryan? King? The readers want to know" – Various
- Believe it or not, I probably get called douchebag by my friends more than I get called Ryan. Nobody really calls me Ryan that much except my family. I am known far and wide simply as Glover. To the point where I'll meet friends of friends and introduce myself as Ryan and then later my friend will call me Glover and they'll go "ohhhh, YOU'RE Glover?". That's right homie, bask in the glory of my awesomeness. So to most people I'm Glover. Because Glover is a badass last name (according to some guy at party I went to 2 years ago) and there are a lot of Ryans out there. The ladies seem to like to call me G-love or G-lover, which is acceptable and probably my most common nickname nowadays. Other names include Kid Midnight, The Future of Hip Hop, The Soul of the Game, Young Glov, 4 Leaf Glover and The Best Thing to Happen to Your Mom Since Food. Everyone just chooses their favorite, you do the same.
"I still don't understand how you think you can take a week off and not deliver us a new pop culture column. For someone who seems to want glory and fame, it seems you're not really willing to sack up for it. Plus, some warning of an off week would be nice. What gives?" – Brian C., Ann Arbor, MI
- Brian, you'd think since I was in Rick's American Cafe (Playboy's Bar of the Month) with you and the rest of the posse freezing our asses off under the air conditioner you'd know why there was no column. Or how we all played NHL 2004 at your apartment for hours where I proceeded to kick ass and take names. I was in Ann Arbor and simply did not have time. I also don't have/can't afford a laptop and wireless internet which would be helpful in putting up a column when I'm on the road touring with Toxic Shock (we were in Baltimore yesterday, look for a gig in LA coming sometime this year). Yes, Newsweek and Time come out with a new issue every week no matter what, but last time I checked, Newsweek and Time were not only basically the same lame magazine, but staffed by more than just me. I do want the glory and the fame, the money to build Retirement Town and beat out the Playboy mansion for most awesomest place on Earth where my friends and I never have to work again, but as I complain about every week, I still have no sponsors. So until "the Man" steps in with his big corporate checks, I will take time off whenever, I'll just try to warn all you bastards next time. Holla!
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